Weecap: 15th August 2009 – Blame Game
Well, we can’t have Part 1 without a Part 2 (unless of course I get bored after Part 1 but come on, how can you get bored after Full Throttle? It’s the best of The Bill in a nutshell: dodgy old people, CID sergeants being WRONG!, and a traffic accident with full fake blood and everything. Woo hoo!) so here we go again… this is Blame Game
PREVIOUSLY: Robbery went ’smash’, old guy went ‘nughhh’ and had a heart attack, two women looked about ready to smack Max down (it’s growing week by week – he’s entering every female’s hit list faster than Phil Hunter but for very different reasons) and Justin, part-time hero, part-time granny basher, had a little accident…
Now, shall we continue? I think we shall…
Naturally Justin isn’t in a good way. I think this is to make us feel sorry for him. Okay, sure, if that’s what you want I’ll try my hardest. My worries are with the coppers though as Heaton wanders in spouting about DPS and Team ‘Smug and Chirpy’ losing their jobs. Nooo, don’t take them away! Bad DPS.
As Neil finishes his speech about what happened, we wander out to the sight of Max chillaxing at his desk. Well, he looks so worried. Smug git. Stevie, however, is getting a rather bad case of the guilts and as Max professes he’s got nothing to hide, decides another ‘he was turning himself in’ wahhh is appropriate right now. IT’S NOT APPROPRIATE RIGHT NOW!
Max still wants Justin Reed’s blood (didn’t get enough in the crash?) and is worried Stevie is going to sell him down the river. Neil gives him a serve. Oh yeah, go Neil. Max goes on his way looking thoroughly displeased that Neil isn’t on his side (I’m on your side Max, if that counts for anything – of course with my very obvious bias, in all honesty, Max could stab me in the arm and I’d still be like ’sure thing gorgeous, what’s next?’).
Max and Stevie are assigned the job of grandma’s murder. Seems that if you come back looking to prove your innocence at Sun Hill you must first land yourself in a coma before they’ll listen. Well, that seems reasonable. They’re busy people here what with all the in-fighting and inquiries they have to face every second day. Max calls the DPS inquiry ‘paperwork’ but both Stevie and I disagree. She calls him a cold-blooded jerk, I silently second that, then wonder if the next time I get called on to do ‘paperwork’ at an Admin temping job it will involve a house burglar lying bloody under an orange motorbike.
Down at St Hugh’s Rebecca Reed still wants to seriously hurt them. They try to appease her with information that they’re reopening the murder inquiry. It doesn’t make her feel any better. I wonder why… Max is still defending himself, stating he didn’t know Justin was open to a dialogue. Kind of like someone we know eh Max? But the old codger wants to help. ‘Parrantly Justin was set up. Barry Usher, the other guy in the robbery, turned up in a boiler suit. And Justin didn’t realize anything was wrong? He’s brilliant!
Back at Sun Hill Sally’s found photos of Barry Usher ’shopping for England!’ (include raised tone). She’s growing on me. Stevie wants Barry for murder and the team meet suspect older guy of the week, dead Grandma’s son Ian Anderson. Ian, a visual mix of Simon Pegg and Leon, is a pillar of the community. Naturally. He runs a Victims of Crime charity (his mother’s) and various other good guy acts. Guilty conscience? And we get a close-up of the Victims of Crime website. Woah, that bad guy looks like Terry Perkins! Lol.
Back with Max and Stevie, Max admits that like all good spineless jerks, he goes where he’s told. Oh really… I’ll fight the urge to direct him where I want him. And it seems this submission is a PR nightmare. You know what else is? Your untold ability to drive innocent people into car accidents! Yeah, I think that’s a bigger nightmare. Stevie’s just happy they didn’t shoot him. She’s getting her fight back. She’ll be alright. Too bad about that new fear of motorbikes as she almost gets herself run over by one. Looks like we’ll be cutting down on those cozy conversations with fellow bike owners.
Will and Grace bring in Barry Usher for impersonating a pig (oh and stolen goods), and Max returns waving money they found in Barry Usher’s safety deposit box. I thought Barry was skint. I wish I was £20,000 of skint. And a fancy watch. And it tells the time accurately: it’s time for Heaton’s meeting with Max. And Stevie’s off to interview Barry Usher. This should be fun…
In Heaton’s office Max is spouting clichés left, right and centre, avoiding any kind of emotional involvement at all. John isn’t pleased and sees right through the charade. Max sneers. There, that’s his one emotional moment for the day, how’s that?
In Usher’s interview Stevie cracks it. She’s not a happy gal. Despite being unable to go into the murder, she still attacks. She’s like a very angry Maltese Terrier.
Heaton’s still trying to crack the enigma that is Max. According to Heaton Max and Stevie’s personality differences mean they could clash – it’s all there on the personality tests. Wait a minute… Max has a personality? They had to work extra hard on that test I imagine, first to find it and then determine it. Heaton kicks his ass with a serve that makes me warm to this ginger for the first time ever…
Heaton: You’ve convinced yourself that everything you did yesterday was completely justified. There’s no doubt, no regret, even though a young man’s been left in a coma.
Yeah, you just know that Max goes home every night, looks in the mirror and pep talks himself out of guilt. Well, that’s the part of me that wants Max to be human. The other half likes robot Max – no guilt, no emotion, but all the sexy.
Heaton then continues to remind Max that if Justin dies this attitude could come back to haunt him. To be fair, the last time Max killed someone he got a promotion to DS and Sun Hill. Maybe these mixed messages are the reason he’s so confused… why am I trying to justify him? He’s a jerk, it’s that simple!
Speaking of jerks, Barry Usher ain’t getting any mixed messages from Stevie. She hates him. Grace calls quits on the interview when Stevie looks ready to reach across the table and strangle Barry. When Maltese Terriers attack.
Kezia’s sleuthing has found the watch’s back-story. I told you this would be important. Dead Grandma bought it for a restaurant owner, a Mr. Dennis Fairford. The team head to Simon Pegg/Leon’s place to find out that Dennis was his mother’s ‘boyfriend’. But their relationship was rocky and she hired a private investigator. Well, what’s a good relationship without the involvement of a PI? Dead Grandma was your stereotypical old lady with money and Dennis (real name Danny Ford) is bad to the bone. Of course he is… *yawn*
Time to go rustle the wind up the backside of Fairford who works at a restaurant called ‘The Butcher and Grill’. Sounds like a vegetarian’s paradise. As for Fairford, when he’s not killing small animals, he’s returning the watch to Dead Grandma and asking her to marry him. Awww, old people love. Fairford had to break it off though when Simon/Leon got too possessive. Mummy’s boy. And Fairford has an alibi – he was in Portugal. Now he wishes he’d stay there, then he wouldn’t have to deal with Max’s assumptions that Dennis the ex-con is responsible for a hit but Simon Pegg isn’t because he’s a respectable member of the community ‘doing good work in his mother’s name’. Yeah, because people like that have never been dodgy before. Oh please, how are they not getting this by now?
Stevie continues to bait Max (which is up there with baiting a rabid dog) and gets rank pull. Phwroar *claws* Max takes it as well as can be expected and sticks the claws in even deeper when he accuses her of being childish and states to Neil that she should be able to look after herself…
Max: She’s a grown-up
Neil: So are you…
Can we be certain of this? I mean, we have seen some pretty awesome childish dummy spits from Max in the past. Just saying…
Roger continues to be awesome, carrying on from Smash and Grab last week, with an FIU check on Simon Pegg. Turns out our Dead Grandma’s son is a gambling addict and his mother bailed him out. Will puts two and two together and equals ‘Will rules’. We have Simon’s link to Barry Usher – Luxor gaming where Barry used to work. Nice…
Simon continues to play good, making out he may have revealed the house to Barry during a drunken rant. No one buys it. Will nails it. Dead Grandma’s account is still open in her son’s name. Simon Pegg’s recently withdrawn £20,000, the same amount in Usher’s deposit box. Yay! Thank goodness Will’s staying out of the verbal tiffs and is still working. He’s a shining beacon of hope in a bay of stupidity…
Meanwhile, up in the DI’s office, Max is whingeing. He doesn’t want to do an interview with Stevie anymore (wahhh), she’s right outside the door listening and Max slumps as he spots her. But it’s not personal no. Not personal at all, he just doesn’t want to work with you Stevie. It’s not you, it’s me. Sure, sure, we’ve all heard that before.
Back in the interview room again, Simon’s getting the Stevie Death Glare treatment and Max smells his finger. Mmmm, raspberries. We summarize the episode in one line… ‘this isn’t a mistake, it’s a murder inquiry‘. No, no it’s a mistake. A mistake to take a case with Max Carter. Stevie’s never making that stupid decision again. However Max has developed a complex. He attacks the mummy’s boy about his relationship with his mother and we’re all left asking whether Max has any kind of issues with his own mother. Max – secret mummy’s boy. He places on the table what we can imagine is a picture of a bloody Dead Grandma. It works! Simon admits he hired Barry to kill Grandma. He gave Barry the infamous watch but Barry wanted 20,000. Simon pulled out of the agreement but Barry did it anyway, suss boiler suit and all. Case closed.
Stevie heads for Heaton’s office and Max goes down to the hospital. Stevie’s learning how to fight for the cause, and that Max is more like her than anyone, especially himself, care to admit. Down at the hospital Rebecca still wants to seriously hurt him. She then proceeds to tell him how to do his job. Well, you know, while we’re apportioning blame here: YOU COULD’VE TOLD US WHERE JUSTIN WAS EARLIER! I still don’t like her…
By the end of the episode we’re all clear, Max gives the old guy his crucifix and Stevie wants to talk emotion into Max. No luck. That said, Max gets another ’see you tomorrow’ stare off into the distance ending. Enough already, we get it; he’s deep and brooding…
Change the record.